So you’ve been in a Christian singles group for a while and made some very good Christian friends. Or perhaps you’ve been carrying on a Christian online friendship.
Either way, you’ve become increasingly interested in someone, and you feel like you’re ready to start dating this Christian.
Here are a few thoughts that might help things go more smoothly in the first few stages of a relationship.
You’ve been pacing yourself thus far and there’s no reason to speed things up. You’re still getting to know one another and the best way to do that is to take it easy and not rush things.
Even though you may be all giddy with romantic feelings, keep the flowers and Hallmark cards on hold for a little while longer.
I made this same mistake once…and the young lady went screaming into the other direction.
Make your dates simple and non threatening. Get coffee. Have lunch. Take a walk. Enjoy talking one on one.
Spend your time being fun and lighthearted, and don’t be concerned about what lies ahead in the future. Right now, you’re just enjoying getting to know this person.
Be open and honest. Don’t try to be someone you’re not. Remember: they’re interested in YOU–not a false image of yourself you want to project.
But by all means, take it S-L-O-W. You’ve got all the time in the world.
Sooner or later, the past is going to come up in a discussion. And it may not be pretty.
The key here is to be totally truthful. Lying will only come back to haunt you later and cause a serious rift in the relationship.
Now, that doesn’t mean you must talk about something before you’re ready to discuss it. In that case, it’s best to make the other party clear about some boundaries at this point.
They should be considerate of your needs and not press the issue. If not, you might want to rethink this relationship.
In time, you may grow closer to this person and feel more comfortable about revealing something from your past.
My wife and I came from two totally different backgrounds. Her dating history was virtually non existent, while mine was littered with sexual sin.
Needless to say, the issue eventually reared its ugly head. She knew I had been with other women. But she had forgiven me for it.
Her forgiveness of me really strengthened our relationship. Today, I feel like the person who did those other things is someone I don’t even know. And in a lot of ways, I’m right.
Please realize that we all have skeletons in our closet, some uglier than others. Don’t judge someone by their past mistakes.
Forgive them as Christ forgives us all and you’ll form a bond of trust that’s crucial to any healthy Christian relationship. You can find your best date from Christian dating online websites.
But remember–don’t go there until you’re both ready. Revealing too much too early can spook the best of us. Again, follow the Lord’s leading.