So you’ve been talking over the telephone for a while and the relationship is taking wings. Now you’re thinking about a direct meeting. Use wisdom here; there’s no need to push it and you don’t want to sound over anxious. And there are certain things that you should bear in mind before meeting.
Do not, under any circumstances, invite someone into your home at this point. Choose a public place where there are plenty of people around. There’s safety in numbers.
Meeting for lunch or dinner is typical. When people have a meal together, they get to know a lot about each other. But some people may feel intimidated when having a full meal during the first date. It can be a little awkward eating and trying to talk at the same time. And the last thing you want to do is accidentally spit your food while trying to impress!
My advice is to make the initial meeting casual and non-threatening, like having coffee. It’s a great way to break the ice and you don’t have to worry about having a chive stuck in your teeth the entire time.
If you’re feeling comfortable and things are going well, move on to lunch or dinner. Here’s a tip: watch their table manners. You can learn a great deal about a person’s upbringing and background by watching them eat.
One of my best friends always chewed with his mouth open, then swallowed with an audible “gulp”. I often wondered what his wife thought about that during their first date.
Also, as a single Christian you should know better, but one thing you must always avoid is alcohol. A drink or two may relax a person and loosen the tongue, but it also lets down the barriers to other things.
Set a definite time limit on your meeting. An hour should be plenty. Lunch time works well because most of us are busy with work and we can just spare an hour. The element of romance doesn’t really come in and you can always leave on the pretext that you have to get back to work.
By all means, be on time. Being late is rude and inconsiderate to the other party. It also gives them a bad impression before you even get there.
Dress appropriately for the occasion. Keep it simple, yet flattering. Don’t go overboard on cologne or makeup. Again, a lunch date is perfect because you’ll be in your work attire, which saves you the agony of choosing the right thing to wear on a first date.
One thing you may want to consider is making your first date a group activity, preferably a foursome. This takes away the awkwardness of the situation as well as those embarrassing moments of silence.
Another advantage of being in a group is that less attention will be focused on each other, resulting in a less stressful and more relaxed atmosphere. It’s also safer too.
One tip: Take care to avoid anyone who’s a chatter box; it takes all the fun away if one person dominates the entire conversation.
Finally, it’s a good idea to decide beforehand about going Dutch, which means each person pays for whatever they have. That way if nothing works out, no one is obliged to anyone else.